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Monday, February 27, 2012 Had an opportunity to speak to Gary today. This is the first time we actually spoke about our true emotions about work. I was glad that i wasn't the only person to face issues working until our supervisor. All this while, i have always felt that my supervisor had something against me, and from then on, it was never easy working with him. True enough, Gary confirmed my sentiments. And apparently, I have been judged by my hairstyle and my looks. I didn't look like someone whom my supervisor will like. He judged me so superficially and that made all of our lives difficult. That is the first reason, deep in my heart, i had no respect for him. He allowed superficial values to dictate his judgement over someone. For that i despise him. From the looks of his career, i cant doubt that he has been working really hardly for more than 10years. With this duration of experience in the same industry, albeit taking on different roles each time he switched jobs, i'm sure he knew what he was doing. However there is always a higher mountain. What is 10years of experience as compared to another with 20years? Under utilizing the expertise he have around him to improve while he stand rigidly of his own ways gave me another reason not to respect him. To be honest, during this period when he is in Derby undergoing training, Gary and I have learn more than what we had under him. We listened and considered words from our highly experienced trainer from UK. This ang moh has been working in Rolls-Royce for the past 20 years and it is his first company and probably his last as well. This trainer is a remarkable leader, one who see potential in his subordinates and delegates work according to their strengths. Together, the 3 of us ran the entire show with great efficiency and success in the absence of my supervisor. Under his guidance i was really happy as my work was seen useful by the company and it gave me reasons to go even further. This was something i had never felt under my supervisor. Certain people are just not born to be leaders. If you are incapable but still forced into the role, dont mind your weakness, instead embrace it and let those who have strengths help you out, even if they are your subordinates. My supervisor's inadequacies in such aspect gave me a third reason not to respect him. Come to think about it, he even lied to me, telling me that the ops director was against how i looked and he asked me to consider a haircut. I will rather you to tell me straight in the face your emotions and explained why you felt as such. I may have given you a slight bit of respect for your honesty and efforts to seek understanding. I was really angry seeing the character he was and I certainly do not think that he is worthy to be my supervisor. To me, i can only see him as someone who has that many years of experience. I was still dumb enough to consider why he is still holding such a position with this amount of work experience. Meritocracy does run in the society. And he definitely deserve his position, or lack of. I take a heath of sigh, not for myself, but for him. And yes, all such sentiments, i can only keep within myself. Frankly, there was no one that i could speak to about such emotions. I was glad singing and a cup of icy cold Baileys did the job to make me feel better. Infront of him, it is another false front of respect i need to portray. I know exactly what he expects of an intern under him. I will give it to him. He will never know how badly i will want to step on him. But for me, i am working harder every moment to make sure if i do work full time in Rolls-Royce one day, he will be way under me. i'm so sure of what i feel inside 10:38 PM |