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Monday, August 25, 2008 it feels like a terribly long weekend. Oh why did i even use the word terrible? haha it shld be terrific instead. Well more remarkably, the things i've done wud ofcos.. i guess the 21km halfmarathon. Well planning was bad, they served lukewarm water, my boss didnt come to take charge, i had to do all his job; well he claimed tat he had to go and get a better starting position.. blah blah. wadeva. Yawns. Im starting to feel the drag. Time doesnt seem to be moving at all. Yawns. i shld start planning on when to clear my leaves..... I terribly need something new in my life. Im dying of boredom... i'm so sure of what i feel inside 10:07 PM Thursday, August 21, 2008 Well my sis was using my usual wash room. So i had to use the other to remove my lenses. Well having done so i walked out without my glasses. My dad was at the wrong place at the wrong time. So he removed this hot cap off the pot of curry, turned arnd, and there was my hand. Well it hurt, and my mind just blew. I kinda like yelled at him cant u see im not wearing my specs, u shld at least watch ur way when u are doing ur stuffs. Wadeva happened to me i must be crazy saying something like tat to my dad. He was shocked too. It was my first time doing something like tat to my dad. Well must be NS. True, the day was badly screwed thanks to people who think that they can lead and people who refuses to do the wrong things at the right time. Early in the day some guy tooked MC. We had 3units up and we're already short of manpower without anyone missing. Den we had another who went off for medical off without acknowledgement from anyone. So i went to OCS.. ready for my 4hr lesson, ALONE; since the others had to attend to lessons elsewhere or otherwise. 4hrs, 2 from bravo another 2 from sierra. My small boss did told me tat bravo wanted their lesson earlier at 730. So i got there early. However it wasnt Bravo tat i saw. Sierra came instead. I was dumbfounded. I mean huh wtf was happening. I thot my boss did a tinywiny screwup - He mixed up the wings. OKay was find with me. can forgive. Sierra did their warm up and there came bravo, at 749... yea.. when they are the ones who told me to come earlier, they came late. So great. one instructor 2 wings, 200 trainees. It may not have been that bad, afterall it's just abt hurting ur vocalcords and being more tired to jaga everything, but the wings were at a different pace. So right. How in the world am i going to conduct 2 different lessons at the same time. So i screwed the directives, skipped their safety lesson and went straight to lesson 2 for bravo. So i can finish the job. I shld have cancelled their lesson. Fuckedup. well alot more happened later. dun wan to talk abt it. Sigh. If u dun master ur anger. Ur anger will master u. Take it easy.. i'm so sure of what i feel inside 8:26 PM Sunday, August 17, 2008 Well the world can be small but it she was the last person i thot i'd eva see on the streets. Such coincidence, at times can be rather freaky. But still i was happy to be able to check her out. yawns. happy bday vincent. i'm so sure of what i feel inside 1:21 AM Thursday, August 14, 2008 The word for today: CHarlie. Well being an instrutor has never been so great. Afterall, i guess i've lost pretty much of my drive to work as enthusiastically as before. Reason simple. I can smell ORD alr. To be more exact, it's actually in 140plus days. Okay, lets have a break and bring the time back to hmm around one yr and a mth ago. Well my PC told us to strive to be an officer, so u'd be able to touch the lives of others in ur stay in NS. At least tat was the only form of satisfaction one can eva get doing the NS, he said. However i never became an officer; i thot a CCI could have been alot easier to accomplish the feat, since i'll get to interact with many others who are too serving our dear nation. I taught diligently, tried my best everytime i had a lesson, got scolded so many times by my seniors but i never loathe, even for once; i really wanted to learn as many as i can from dem so i can become the best instructor one can eva find, at least in the entire CCTW. Tat was my drive, for as long as i can remember being a CCI, just to fulfill a very simple wish. However i've never felt accomplished in any way. I worked when i could have slacked, infact i was being over Garang over the entire thing, only to be seen as "a possession to the WEST TEAM in which I(my boss) can make full use of in everywhere" and im still being used in every single way. Sometimes i really wonder if im a instructor, a super saikang planner and worker or a Clerk. And so i got stucked in the West team, having to travel everyday to a corner of the country from where i stay in yishun, when i could have spend only a fraction of the time used for travelling currently, reporting to other camps in the North team. I didnt loathe cos i believed in OCS, my unit, and my trainees. I believed that they can give me the satisfaction i want. For so 3batches i have taught, Delta, Foxtrot; Bravo, Echo; Alpha, Golf. I've always felt i could have done better, since the response i got was never spontaneous. In the end there was still some who hated CCT; my lesson. To a pt i've felt a decrease even in my own standard, I was never the instructor i was previously animore. Mediocrity was wad i felt i've became. Until today. Charlie did great for their grading. Well something v well expected after all the practice we had. However, im pretty sure that i've a place in their heart as an instructor. Well at least until they ORD; i know i will remember me. It felt great finally knowing that the effort u have placed have blossomed into results that have never tasted so sweet. Charlie may have brought back the flame in me. Next to deal with. Hotel wing. i'm so sure of what i feel inside 7:38 PM |